The foundation for how someone feels about themselves, has already been laid in their early years…

The words and behaviours we use facilitate the flourishing or diminishing of those feelings, but ultimately it’s up to them…

If someone feels good inside and you do and say good things to this person, it adds to what’s there…

If the person doesn’t feel so good inside, it’s harder for them to Connect and draw on good feelings…

If someone feels bad inside and you do and say bad things to this person, it adds to their existing feelings…

If someone feels good inside, they’re ‘affected’ by the bad vibes, but don’t own them, because they don’t foster these feelings…

You don’t have to build someone up, by pulling somebody down ‘so and so couldn’t do that’ ‘you’re better than this one or that one’…

Doing this also gives you the mindset and behaviours, that if you’re not feeling great, the way to feel better, is to bring someone else down…

This is normally directed at those closest to you or most vulnerable; where you feel so low inside, the easiest targets are loved ones or children as they won’t recognise what’s really going on and are drawn into an opera of critique and mind games or people who ‘seem’ different enough to be labelled as something outside of ‘normal’ whatever that means…

It doesn’t have to be that way…

Everyone feels bad from time to time; just remember that we can’t be ‘up’ all the time; and how can we appreciate joy if we’ve never known sorrow? Just don’t dwell in the sorrow so much, that you miss the joy; and your sorrow becomes your ‘joy’ and what should be ‘joy’ becomes difficult and uncomfortable, as you haven’t taken the time to know it…

Talmud Bah FRSA